Big Read

What do you wish your younger self had known about love?

Those of you that read our Phenomenal Women Journal will know we always ask our interviewees to reflect on lessons learned - and those they wished they’d learned earlier.

MPowder Team

15 Feb, 2021


Rebekah So, as this edition of the Big Read hits your inbox on the day we traditionally associate with love, we’ve returned to their words and collated some beautiful nuggets of wisdom.

‘Turn it on yourself first. Then look outwards.’

Karen Arthur, founder of Wear Your Happy & the podcast Menopausal Whilst Black.

‘I wish I knew that being single isn't a sign of failure. I was 20 when I married Nicole's Dad and meant every word I said, until death due us part, but that wasn't the case and we divorced after 12 years of marriage. Back then, there seemed to be a lot of shame around failed marriages and becoming a single mum. I probably hid for a few years indoors, not knowing who I was, caring for Nicole age 5, making sure all her needs were met, trying to navigate around being the primary carer, cook, decorator, gardener, and work.

It was a struggle.

But those years where it was just the two of us were the best.
We are best friends today. Nicole is 29; we run our women-only retreats together. We have a unique bond, and I honestly believe it's because for most of her childhood it was just the two of us.

I had the odd relationship over the years, but nothing serious. I felt there was so much pressure to be in a relationship, and if I wasn't, there was something wrong with me. The men I met never seemed good enough to interrupt mine and Nicole's home life.

It wasn't until Nicole had finally left home to go to University that I met Michael, who I'd consider my life long partner. He's my confidant, lover and friend. He makes me laugh, which is something I love about him.’

Pamela Windle, founder of Smarter Change.

‘That the Hollywood version is not the most beautiful. If someone cares enough to run you a bath after a hard day then those thoughtful moments are the things that sustain deep love.’

Debbie Edwards, founder of The Gentle Leader.

And a final word of wisdom, from the power rocket that is Abi Adams of Project Woman:

‘Be aware of what you carry with you into menopause. Be aware of the blueprint you may have inherited from your mother, your grandmother, the women around you. Know that your adult self has the power to make each Lifestage beautiful. That you are unique and you, uniquely, know what you need’.

Wishing each and every one of you a day of self love.

With love, from us all at MPowder.


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