The word ‘metta’ means ‘loving kindness’ in Pali which is the language of early Buddhist texts. And unlike many mindfulness practices that often invite us to respond neutrally to emotions or experiences, it encourages instead an active cultivation of love. I love the principle that sits at its heart: that the mind can be trained towards kindness just as it can be trained to focus or be more productive.
Research tells us that kindness is not just good for those around us: it is good for our own health too. And specific studies looking at Metta Meditation show it increases feelings of social connection, even for those of us who do not normally enjoy traditional meditation. Neuroimaging research also suggests it can reduce negative cogitation (that spiral of thoughts in our heads), increase self compassion and also strengthen circuits involved in empathy and emotional regulation.
Regular practice has been associated with:
- Reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression
- Increased vagal tone, supporting nervous-system regulation
- From a hormonal perspective, metta supports a reduction in chronic cortisol signalling, which is particularly relevant for us in perimenopause and menopause
How to practice metta meditation.
There are many guided metta meditations freely available online. My go-to source is Insight Timer, a free app with some wonderful practitioners. But you can also practice it easily alone. It follows a progressive arc of care: inviting us to start with ourselves and to work our way outwards to more challenging relationships or dynamics.
Step 1:
Find a comfortable space: where you can be quiet and undisturbed for 10 minutes.
Step 2:
Hold in your head the arc of care - knowing that you’ll progress from:
- Yourself
- Someone you love
- A neutral person
- A difficult person
- All beings
Step 3:
For yourself, focus on your heart and silently speak the following:
- “May I be safe”
- “May I be healthy”
- “May I live with ease”
Step 4:
Working outwards to the individuals you have selected, speak the following:
- “May you be safe”
- “May you be healthy”
- “May you live with ease”
Remember, the goal is not to force emotion, forgiveness or resolution, but to plant the intention — repetition matters more than feeling and, as the research shows - can lead to the release that is good for our own wellbeing before addressing the dynamics that may trouble you.
Try it. As with all new practices, be gentle with yourself too and all that may arise from it too.
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